1. Don't shout some hilarious catchphrase when you come.
You aren't a badly written sitcom character. Don't act like one.
2. Don't fart while receiving oral.
Nothing kills the mood faster. Well, almost nothing.
3. Ask before trying anything new.
Not everyone is into the same stuff, and if you suddenly change lanes you are in for a bad time.
4. Before sleeping with a new partner, get tested.
You never know what you might have picked up. Always better to be safe than sorry. You don't want to make an embarrassing phone call down the road.
5. The first time he/she takes her clothes off in front of you, only speak in positive comments.
Nobody likes to be insulted.
6. Never assume it's safe to finish inside.
You don't know if she's on the pill, or if she missed a day. You don't want an unexpected baby, so just don't do it.
7. Reciprocate oral.
Who wants to just give and not get anything in return?
8. Do not squeeze a guys balls, unless he asks.
It's the same as someone squeezing your ovaries. More often than not, it's uncomfortable as hell.
9. Sex is messy.
Have fun and deal with the mess after.
10. "Stop" means stop and "oh my god, yes!" means keep doing exactly what you are doing.
If what you're doing is working keep doing it. Don't speed up, don't slow down. Do exactly what you're doing until instructed otherwise.
Monday, 16 February 2015
Tuesday, 3 February 2015
Wednesday, 28 January 2015
This one trick can save your @ss in college courses.
Send out a mass email to the class a day or two before an exam saying you have just finished my study guide, and offer to swap it with other people. People will send you theirs and you just send them each others back.
Saturday, 15 November 2014
10 NSFW things women wish men knew. (18+)
1. Make sure that not only is she wet, but also that you slide in her instead of trying to jam it into her
2. Sometimes the clit gets too sensitive to stimulate directly, so you should have your girl/woman/vagina show you exactly where she prefers to be touched rather than just assume that it'll feel good if you vigorously stroke her clit.
3. She's not always going to orgasm, it's not a big deal.
4. Often what happens after sex means more then the actual sex, try to be a little present and nurturing/affectionate especially with rough sex
5. Cut your fingernails.
6. It's SO much hotter to be teased a little bit before oral sex.
Kiss her stomach and inner thighs, then just about you're going to FINALLY put your mouth there you repeat the process.
7. Mid vaginal penetration it feels amazing if you just do a few really shallow thrusts
8. If she tells you "just like that" or "keep going" or anything similar then just stay at the same pace. It's working.
9. Don't be afraid to ask for direction.
10. DON'T COPY PORN
Seriously.
Next: Awkward things you know you did when you were younger!
2. Sometimes the clit gets too sensitive to stimulate directly, so you should have your girl/woman/vagina show you exactly where she prefers to be touched rather than just assume that it'll feel good if you vigorously stroke her clit.
3. She's not always going to orgasm, it's not a big deal.
4. Often what happens after sex means more then the actual sex, try to be a little present and nurturing/affectionate especially with rough sex
5. Cut your fingernails.
6. It's SO much hotter to be teased a little bit before oral sex.
Kiss her stomach and inner thighs, then just about you're going to FINALLY put your mouth there you repeat the process.
7. Mid vaginal penetration it feels amazing if you just do a few really shallow thrusts
8. If she tells you "just like that" or "keep going" or anything similar then just stay at the same pace. It's working.
9. Don't be afraid to ask for direction.
10. DON'T COPY PORN
Seriously.
Next: Awkward things you know you did when you were younger!
Friday, 14 November 2014
10 Awkward things you probably did in middle school.
We all did some pretty awkward stuff trying to fit in during middle school. I'm sure some of these will resonate.
1. You and a friend make a pact to spread positive rumors about each other.
1. You and a friend make a pact to spread positive rumors about each other.
"Have you seen Pat's girlfriend? She's a real cutie."
"He was saying the same about you this morning. What you guys made some loser pact about a pretend gf?"
2. Chain Wallets
It starts out small, but next thing you know you've got a 3 foot chain dangling at you knee and getting caught up in your bike.
3.Yelling random catch phrases at inappropriate times.
Someone always yelled "EPIC FAIL" every time anyone made even the smallest mistake.
4. Hanging belts.
5. You wore shorts every day.
Its below freezing and snowing? Shorts it is. Pouring rain? Shorts it is.
6. Quarters.
Where you spin a quarter and if you can stop it upright it gets slid at high speed into your knuckles.
Because nothing says cool like self mutilation
7. Stuffing your bra or being misleading about other sizes.
You know you did it.
8. DIY weapons made of pens, rulers and other school supplies.
Also known as the eighth grade arms race
9. I have a super hot girlfriend.
But you wouldn't know her. She lives a few towns over.
10. That goddamn "S" everywhere.
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Next:Overly optimistic Leafs fanSaturday, 8 November 2014
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